Don’t be jealous, but I spent my Friday night at the mall. I’m not even a teen or a tween. I just needed a new bra and bathing suit. This is the exciting life of a single woman in Salem. No witchcraft here, just an evening engaged in two of the most tiresome hunts that all females face: the search for the perfect bra and the elusive bathing suit. I think you know how that story ended. Folly to have shopped for both at the same time.
But you know what’s even more depressing? The mall. Granted, I was at a second-run, sad little mall on the North Shore that featured Wet Seal, a Famous Label store that was half-empty and echo-y, featuring ugly, giant urns, and long vacant hallways with nary a texter to be found. But the place was redeemed at the last moment when I spotted a mother and her little boy stuffed into a photo booth making funny faces and giggling while the camera snapped away. I pictured the mom placing it on her bureau mirror or the boy taking it to college one day.
But back to me. Gap Body came through the next day in the form of a neon pink number that for now only I will be appreciating. The fact that Beyoncé’s Run the World (Girls) song was playing at full volume in the dressing room making me feel like Super Woman had absolutely nothing to do with my decision to purchase.