Dear midwesterners

Dear Midwesterners, especially men,

Work on reigning in the niceness. East Coasters don’t know how to read it and can mistake your 10-minute conversation about egg sandwiches studded with laughter as more than a conversation about egg sandwiches, and your shared love of epic New Yorker features (Tell me you read the one about financial-sector crime) as a love of well, more than that, until you mention your wife, leading an East Coaster to understand that you are Midwestern and are just being nice. Not nice.

Thanks,

On-my-guard East Coaster

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