I received the most entertaining email sent out to volunteers of the Animal Rescue League recently that made me wish I owned a truck. It read:“OK, we have a unique transfer request for some fowl that need to move from Dedham to their new home in Williamstown, MA. Willing parties must have a larger vehicle as it will take 4 large crates or at least seven adoption boxes to move the birds in. Below is a list of the birds that are in need of transport. Please note that birds are both noisy and messy, but since they’ll be contained both issues should be kept to a minimum. Transport of: 2 ducks 5 red roosters 2 white hens 1 red hen 1 bantam rooster 1 cross hen”
Does this not have the makings of a great story? In seconds, I had images of me barreling down the highway bound for bucolic Western Mass with a dozen vocal birds in the back clucking to each other about this once-in-a-lifetime road trip and how nice it was to stretch their wings once in a while. We’d all be singing the Chicken Dance song or Old McDonald and having a grand old time. If they behaved, I’d promise to stop at McDonald’s for some chicken nuggets before we’d pile into the car again to ride with the windows rolled down and the wind blowing our feathers, a carefree flock of Thelma and Louises.
In the next breath, I wondered how many minutes it would take me to want to strangle even the handsome bantam rooster that wouldn’t stop crowing.