I just spotted the biggest, creepiest, most-legged bug I’ve ever seen in my life—in my bedroom. Alone, it was clear I had to act fast. Killing bugs (or humanely removing them…ha! Not gonna happen with this sucker) is not my forte, but the thought of this tentacled-thing slithering across my floor and—don’t even think it, my bed—was enough for me to grab a shoe and hammer the hell out of it while yelling involuntarily. The slam of the shoe meeting bug, I’m convinced, awakened everyone in the neighborhood. Hell, I can’t even go near that shoe, lest a leg be clinging to the sole. So now I’m awake and on guard, eyeing every crack in the floor, and down one good pair of shoes.