A tip to Shirley, a fellow passenger on the T this morning: It’s not a good idea to sit down next to me, whip out your cell phone and call your doctor to publicly declare, “I think I still have pneumonia. It’s hard to breathe.” Well, Shirley, you appear to be dragging a big suitcase behind you while jumping on the T. Breathing would be hard.
Mainly though, it’s best to pretend you don’t have flu-like symptoms while enclosed in a stuffy cylinder with other people during an outbreak of something scary like swine flu. Didn’t you hear the President last night? He said, Don’t get on a plane or other form of public transportation when you’re sick. That means you, Shirley. He also said, Wash your hands. Do you wash your hands, Shirley? While the guy on the other side of you started laughing in disbelief when he heard you were sick (quite a healthy attitude toward his impending death), I hastily gathered my stuff and found a place by the door far away from you.
I’m sure that makes us sound like uncaring people, but we’re in the middle of an epidemic here. I don’t want every Tom, Dick, and Shirley coughing on me, whether you’ve been in Mexico or not. Ew.