For the longest time, I wanted to train monkeys. I know, but this wasn’t some desire to work for the circus or a passing fancy. In fact, I was still interested in this career path well into my 20s. I wanted to work for Helping Hands, an organization that provides clever little capuchins to people with disabilities. Monkeys help with everything from food preparation to answering the phone (well, they won’t do the talking for you, but still). Early on, a monkey is paired with a volunteer family that agrees to take on this child, of sorts, while it matures. Then the extensive Monkey College training, similar to guide dog instruction, begins.
At this point, you may be chuckling. And you know, that’s just what my friend did when I told her my monkey training dream way back. “You want to what?” she asked. Hopes dashed, I packed away the little monkey onesies, and moved on. But in light of the recent chimp attack that left a woman severely mauled (albeit by a much larger animal), it’s possible my friend may have saved my life. Thanks for laughing at my dream, friend.