Do not do this on Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a tricky holiday. So much could go wrong: family meltdowns and dysfunction traveling ’round the table faster than the potatoes, a smoldering bird that triggers a visit from the fire department, or a carving knife used not on the bird but on Uncle Willis who just can’t keep his trap shut. Not that I’d know. 

I do, however, have two tips to share that I learned the hard way.

1. Do not go on vacation with your family and assume restaurants will be open. In the Cape. In November. Because all you may glean from the bare supermarket shelves are a couple of TV dinners and a frozen pizza. A Red Baron sausage pizza, say, which although one of the better frozen pizzas in the 80s, was not the moist turkey, stuffing, and potatoes you were expecting. Microwaved, it’s even worse.

2. This is not the time to try a new recipe. More specifically, do not make Apple and Onion Stuffin’ Muffins no matter how good that perky Rachael Ray makes them sound. I know you’re curious; that’s why I included the link, but don’t go there. Something will go awry and you will end up with a basket of undercooked stuffing globs and a friend whose family torments you relentlessly, busting up laughing at the memory even years later. 

You’re welcome.

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2 thoughts on “Do not do this on Thanksgiving

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